TOYS AND GAMES: Nora Ephron, Officiating, Drunk Wisconsin

Recently I became acquainted with Nora Ephron, the late journalist, essayist, playwright, screenwriter, novelist, producer, director, and blogger. She’s probably best remembered for her romantic comedies, which include When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle. I think I love her wisdom most.

In her book, “I Remember Nothing,”, she ends a collection of essays with lists labeled “What I won’t miss” and “What I will miss.”

Among the former, she includes: email, the sound of the vacuum cleaner, bills, and small print.

Among the latter: bacon, fall, butter, spring, and waffles.

In an interview with Charlie Rose, she spoke about last meals, noting wisely: “When you are actually going to have your last meal, you’ll either be too sick to have it or you aren’t gonna know it’s your last meal and you could squander it on something like a tuna melt and that would be ironic… I feel it’s important to have that last meal today, tomorrow, soon.”

Now that I’ve discovered Ephron, I plan to read more.

 

Based on some of the officiating in the early weeks of the college football season, I want to again stress my belief that officiating should be centralized. Each official would simply be a college football official rather than having an affiliation with a conference.

Calls are going to be missed in every game. Under the current climate, if a call gets blown in a game between, say, Georgia and North Carolina, and goes Carolina’s way–when there’s an ACC crew, the angry masses point to conference bias as the basis for the wrong call. If all the zebras were just college officials, the suggestion of impropriety easily could be eliminated.

 

According to a list compiled by 24/7 Wall Street identifying the “The Drunkest (and Driest) Cities in America,” Wisconsin had seven of the top 10. The data for “drunkenness” was calculated by looking at the percentage of the population that binge drinks or has four to five drinks at a sitting or 15 or more drinks per week.

Being familiar with the statistics, I cracked up when I saw a women in the Baltimore airport wearing a t-shirt that had a Pabst Blue Ribbon logo, but read: “Drink Wisconsinbly.”

bchastain19@gmail.com

TOYS AND GAMES: Not Puppies, Dogs…

I smiled at Jameis Winston telling his Buccaneers’ teammates, “We’re not puppies, we’re dogs!”

 

For the second time this season, I had someone ask me if I was an umpire. This time it happened prior to a flight to Toronto. My bag tag has a Major League Baseball logo on it, prompting the guy checking me in to ask if I was one of the men in blue. My “no” obviously liberated him to rail against umpires. He had pent up issues about the 2008 World Series, which he felt the Phillies won because the Rays’ starters got squeezed behind the dish. Meanwhile, the Phillies starters enjoyed a zone as wide as he could spread his arms.

 

Lately, I’ve been listening to WDAE 620 sports talk radio via the iHeart app when I walk in the mornings, mostly to hear what friends Tom Jones and Rick Stroud have to say. Recently both were off and the guy hosting argued vehemently that sports fans should like pro football more than college football. One of his arguments was based on college football’s early-season cupcake match ups, which he noted the NFL does not have. He failed to mention that the NFL has an exhibition season, a.k.a., the biggest ripoff in sports. Also, why does anybody care if somebody likes one sport more than another?

 

Finally, I loved the following Facebook post: “If I can hear you chew, I’ve fantasized about your death.”

bchastain19@gmail.com