I'm a sucker for the different sayings and observations on Facebook posts. So I give you the following collection of wisdom recently mined from some of the daily posts I see:
Women are like bacon. They look good, smell good, taste good and slowly kill men.
Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click "I agree".
Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered... "Who ties your shoelaces for you?"
"Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel."
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures. It's my face.