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  • Bill Chastain

Guaranteed Blockbuster

Most everybody has seen the joke on the Internet that uses airplane control panels to demonstrate the differences between men and women, right? If you missed that one, the man’s has an on-off switch while the woman’s has complex instruments, buttons, and gauges.

800px-Benny_Hill Benny Hill (Photo by Ricardo Liberato)

I use the illustration as a segue to what could be an annual blockbuster. Hollywood needs to target this movie only to guys. Keep in mind the simplicity of how we are wired and remember the genius of Benny Hill.

Simply shoot a 90-minute film with no plot and plenty of scenes with the following: passing gas (See Mongo at the campfire), women pulling up their shirts or swimming naked, and men getting hit in the pills. The latter can be via stepping on a golf rake, etc.

While this would not be an “important” movie for the betterment of society, it would provide mindless entertainment for men. Can you say Smokey and the Bandit?

Women would not have to attend said ghastly production, but they could benefit by having 90 minutes of baby sitting for their significant other while they shopped, had pedicures, read a book, etc.

You’ve got to admit, this is genius.

Now, as Sherriff Buford T. Justice might say, “Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I’m in a god-damn hurry.”

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