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  • Bill Chastain

Sauce Tales

Given the fact many are drying out after the holiday weekend, I offer you a few of my favorite drinking stories.

Where better to begin then the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party”-- the annual Georgia-Florida football game at the Gator Bowl (Note: I know the place is now called something else, but it will always be the Gator Bowl to me). When former Georgia cornerback Johnny Henderson was asked about the yearly fiasco, he said, "The best memory I have about [the game] is coming out of the tunnel onto the field. You could actually smell bourbon in the air. It was incredible.”

Dad used to tell me about the father who knew his son was drinking too much. Hoping to curtail the problem, he drove his son past a bustling brewery during the graveyard shift.

Father: “So you see, Son, you can’t drink it all.”

Son: “Yeah, but I’ve got them working at night.”

During hard-drinking Hack Wilson’s first season with the Cubs in 1926, Joe McCarthy called his team together for a demonstration in an attempt to curb Wilson’s drinking. The Cubs manager dropped a worm into water. The worm happily wiggling around. McCarthy then dropped the worm into a glass of whiskey. The worm died.

“What did you learn from that?” McCarthy said.

“I guess it means that if I keep on drinking liquor, I ain’t gonna have no worms,” Wilson replied.

The star outfielder wasn’t about to give up the bottle, but he did have his own code of ethics where his drinking was concerned.

“I’ve never played a game drunk,” Wilson said. “Hungover, yes. But drunk, no.”

A friend of mine arrived home from a night of drinking. Stumbling through the front door he was met by his wife who unloaded.

“What’s the big idea coming home half drunk?” she said.

My friend replied: “I’m sorry honey. I ran out of money.”

Finally, a former boss of Patti’s had been well served and decided to make a run at his wife once he got home. So he grabbed a handful of Tylenol and woke her. He opened his hand. She saw the Tylenol in his palm and said, “I don’t have a headache.” He then replied, “Gotcha.”

Did you know…

Vincent van Gogh did not begin to paint until he reached the ripe old age of 27. By the time he’d died at age 37, he’d created more than 800 works of art. Prolific, eh?

Whatever happened to Blink-182 bassist/singer Tom DeLonge?

Remember, he's the guy who quit the band to focus on the search for extraterrestrial life and UFOs. Imagine going home from work and telling your wife, “Honey, decided to quit my job to look for UFOs.”

DeLonge now hosts a cable show about UFOs.

I invite you to hang out with me on my site at and read more of my blogs. You can also download FREE chapters from some of my fiction books: Peachtree Corvette Club, The Streak and Retrouvailles. Drop me a line at Asked and Answered. Let's talk about feel-good stories, fun facts, movies, food and, of course, two of my very favorite topics: sports and books. Whatever is on your mind.

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