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  • Bill Chastain

SOUTHERN FOOTBALL FRIDAYS: From Bear Bryant to Bobby Dodd

From Bear Bryant to Bobby Dodd, the wit of college football coaches in the South is unsurpassed. The gems that have spilled from their mouths are countless, but here are some of my favorites:

“Always remember… Goliath was a 40-point favorite over David.” — Shug Jordan, Auburn

Bear_Bryant_1945 Paul Bryant as a young coach at Maryland

“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.” — Wally Butts, Georgia

“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money and we don’t have any.” — Erk Russell, Georgia Southern

“Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.” — Bobby Bowden, FSU

Also from Bowden: “After you retire, there’s only one big event left…and I ain’t ready for that.”

“It’s kind of hard to rally around a math class.” — Bear Bryant, Alabama

“I retired for health reasons. The alumni got sick of me.” — Frank Howard, Clemson

Howard also said: “I had a lifetime contract, but the administration declared me dead.”

“It was like the Colosseum in Rome and we were the Christians.” — Bobby Dodd, Georgia Tech

“I like my boys to be agile, mobile, and hostile.” — Jake Gaither, Florida A&M

“There’s one sure way to stop us from scoring—give us the ball near the goal line.” — Steve Spurrier, Florida

Spurrier also had this one. While speaking to a group of Gators fans, he informed them that a fire had broken out Auburn’s football dorm, burning 20 books. He added: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”

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