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…Too Cold at Home

And it’s too hot to fish, too hot for golf and too cold at home. –“Too Cold at Home,” by Joe Diffie

Temperatures are rising and we’re closing in on that highly anticipated part of summer where friends – always with small children – and in-laws make week-long visits to Florida. Translation: you are about to become a tour guide to Busch Gardens and Disney World with a side trip to Legoland.

Before you start writing “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” 10,000 times, cheer up and keep your sanity, there are worse fates.

Such as being:

Ted Cruz at a pro-choice rally.

Or…

Ann Hodges. Don’t recognize the name? She’s the lady who got struck on the hip by a meteorite while taking a nap on her couch in November of 1954. How many people do you know who have been hit by a meteorite?

And…

Gen. Custer of the No. 1 ranked 7th Calvary heading for a trap game at Little Big Horn.

Just once, wouldn’t you like to see a the express line cashier nullify the purchase of the person in front of you for having more than 10 items?

Is anybody else afraid of playing golf alone for fear of making a hole-in-one?

Pike Street Market singer performing outside the original Starbucks

Check out the dude at the Pike Street Market in Seattle. He sang “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” and looked ready to charge San Juan Hill.

Finally, while eating breakfast in Seattle, a young woman sat next to me at the counter — couldn’t have been much over 100 pounds — and ordered chocolate milk and bacon. You have to love that.

bchastain19@gmail.com

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©2020 by Bill Chastain. Photo credits: Jill Doty Photography