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  • Bill Chastain

TOYS AND GAMES: Dude, Your Resume…

Dude, according to Health Health’s Internet site, your dream job is out there for the taking: A cannabis study.

The U.S. National Research Center (NRC) is looking for guinea pigs to evaluate the effects of cannabis on the human body.

“Hanf” by Hendrike 14:33, 23 November 2006 (UTC) – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons “Hanf” by Hendrike 14:33, 23 November 2006 (UTC) – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons

The study hopes to uncover whether or not marijuana relieves stress and stress-related disorders without disabling those smoking marijuana from being able to function normally.

The six-month vacation, uh, study, requires participants to live at a facility for six months, where they’ll huff doobs, watch TV, read and perform everyday activities. All the while they’ll be observed by the NRC’s crack observers.

Observer 1: “That guy really looks stoned.”

Observer 2: “Keeps mumbling something.”

Observer 1: “I think he wants to play Dominoes.”

Both nod, look at their clipboards and check boxes.

Here’s the kicker: The 300 recruits taking part in the study will get paid $3,000 a week.

Love the what if’s heading into this big weekend of college football. I’ve stated my opinion on why I think a six-team playoff format should be put in place (five conference champions and an at-large team) and the dialogue about the different scenarios validate my point. My favorite: “If Florida beats Alabama to win the SEC Championship, should the Committee put the Gators in the playoff or the Crimson Tide because they’re a better team?”

Ludicrous, right?

Having a better team is one thing. Being deserving is another.

Walked outside to get the newspapers at 5:30 this morning (I know, this identifies me as a dinosaur heading for the tar pit) and only found The St. Petersburg Times. When I returned to our living room, Patti asks: “The Tribune hasn’t come yet?”

My reply: “No, I just decided to leave it on the doorstep.”

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