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  • Bill Chastain

TOYS AND GAMES: Father Weight

You’ve heard of the “Freshman 15” many gain at college, well, now it appears there’s father weight.

Dudes just can’t help it. Once they become fathers, the pounds begin to accrue. At least that’s the findings of a study released in the American Journal of Men’s Health, which found that resident fathers (those who live with their children) gained an average of 4.4 pounds after becoming a father for the first time. Nonresident fathers gained 3.3 pounds. And nonfathers lost 1.4 pounds.

In other words, thanks kids.

Alas, there is hope. According to another study, wine is the answer. Since I don’t remember the name of this study, we’ll just go with “they say…”800px-A_glass_of_red_wine

Red wine contains Ellagic acid, a chemical that can hinder the growth of fat cells and prevent new ones from forming. In addition, Ellagic acid revs up the metabolism of the fatty acids in liver cells. Thus, for medicinal purposes, drinking a half a bottle of red wine in the evening is essential for helping one lose weight and maintain good health.

So a shout out to kids everywhere. If you love your parents, you need to continuously gift them bottles of red to help them combat the poundage you were responsible for in the first place.

(Serious face) You can make a difference. Please show you care.

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