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TOYS AND GAMES: Golf Tips, Tooth Fairy, Greg Bird, Star Wars, and The Art of Doing Nothing

I’m amused by the countless ads touting the “secrets” only the pros know about striking a golf ball. If you buy in, these tips can add 20 yards to your game and lower your score by 10 shots.

Failure follows primarily because golfers were put on earth to shoot a certain score, simple as that. And…

Professionals learn a proper grip and swing when they are kids. They know how to practice the right way and they have hit a shitload of balls grooving those buttery swings you see on Sunday afternoon. Finally, their asses don’t pucker standing over a 10-footer. Hacks play once a week and practice only reinforces long-established bad habits. It’s an ugly world.

The promise of the golf ad reminds me of those for ripped abs. The fine print always delivers the bad news: And you must follow the proper diet. In other words, 500 sit-ups aren’t going to melt away a cheeseburger and fries.

According to an article posted on the Georgia News Network the Tooth Fairy doesn’t pay what he or she once paid.

In the “fat” days of 2013, the Fairy paid $3.70 per tooth. That figure dropped to $3.43 in 2014 and it’s fallen to $3.19 this year.

Kids might want to consider selling short on those baby teeth.

Did anybody notice that Yankees rookie Greg Bird homered twice on Wednesday night at Yankee Stadium for his first career home runs? That’s the baseball equivalent of losing your virginity to Marilyn Monroe.

Saw a bizarre scene after the Rays played — and lost — to the Rangers in Texas on “Star Wars Night.” As the players filed into the clubhouse, Star Wars characters stood behind a barrier waiting to pass. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want to see after a tough loss is a guy who actually thinks he’s Luke Skywalker telling me to keep my head up and “may the force be with you.”

Finally, consider the difficulty of doing nothing. You never know when you’re done.

bchastain19@gmail.com

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Recently, I had the pleasure of interviewing Bobby Ross. The former college and pro football coach led Georgia Tech to a share of the national championship in 1990 and later led the San Diego Chargers

©2020 by Bill Chastain. Photo credits: Jill Doty Photography