• Bill Chastain

TOYS AND GAMES: Had I Never Played Golf

Not playing much golf lately has allowed time for reflection. Deep thought about what I might have accomplished had I not spent so much time on the golf course. Thus, I came up with the following “what might have been” list had I never gotten hooked on the “Gentleman’s Game”:

World peace, built a better mouse trap, and written the the great American novel — or a greater great American novel than the great ones I’ve already written, Peachtree Corvette Club and The Streak (Click to buy now). Yes, I agree, no shame.

Oh hell, who am I kidding.

If I hadn’t played golf I’d probably have slept later, drank more, and alienated those I love to the point of begging me to take up the sport, or something else that would keep me away from the house for five hours.

Just think what I would have missed, too. I would not have seen my buddy Frank fall backward into a sand trap. Nor would I have experienced a hungover/still drunk Saturday morning partner throwing up on the No. 9 fairway. Said action failed to instill confidence about winning the team bet, but we doubled up at the turn and managed to win the Nassau.

Alas, had I never played golf, I would not have known the joy of hitting a shot and having the ball do exactly as I planned. Yes, anybody who has played with me knows such moments are fleeting; nevertheless, they are sweet just the same when they do occur.

Finally, not being a golfer would have created a totally new bartering system in my home. Patti would be lost without having golf as a chip to prompt various honey-dos.

In short, world peace would have been nice, but let’s leave that to the Dalai Lama or some higher power. The world is simply a better place with me on the golf course than not.


©2020 by Bill Chastain. Photo credits: Jill Doty Photography