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  • Bill Chastain

TOYS AND GAMES: It’s So Hot That…

Watching the news this morning, I learned that you might just have a heat stroke if you’re out and about. It’s that damn hot in Tampa.

Ever notice that you can’t mow the yard in this weather, but you can play golf?

It’s so hot that…

— The fat guy sitting on the bench started smelling like bacon when he began to sweat.

— Seat belts feel like branding irons.

— Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

— Fire hydrants and trees are chasing dogs.


— I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home it was toast.

Want to cool off? Try the frozen foods section at Publix or Tropicana Field, where it’s always 72 degrees and the home team is anything but hot.

Finally, it’s appropriate to remember a favorite lyric from a Mark Chestnut song:

It’s too hot to fish, too hot for golf And too cold at home.

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