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  • Bill Chastain

TOYS AND GAMES: Nora Ephron, Officiating, Drunk Wisconsin

Recently I became acquainted with Nora Ephron, the late journalist, essayist, playwright, screenwriter, novelist, producer, director, and blogger. She’s probably best remembered for her romantic comedies, which include When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle. I think I love her wisdom most.

In her book, “I Remember Nothing,”, she ends a collection of essays with lists labeled “What I won’t miss” and “What I will miss.”

Among the former, she includes: email, the sound of the vacuum cleaner, bills, and small print.

Among the latter: bacon, fall, butter, spring, and waffles.

In an interview with Charlie Rose, she spoke about last meals, noting wisely: “When you are actually going to have your last meal, you’ll either be too sick to have it or you aren’t gonna know it’s your last meal and you could squander it on something like a tuna melt and that would be ironic… I feel it’s important to have that last meal today, tomorrow, soon.”

Now that I’ve discovered Ephron, I plan to read more.

Based on some of the officiating in the early weeks of the college football season, I want to again stress my belief that officiating should be centralized. Each official would simply be a college football official rather than having an affiliation with a conference.

Calls are going to be missed in every game. Under the current climate, if a call gets blown in a game between, say, Georgia and North Carolina, and goes Carolina’s way–when there’s an ACC crew, the angry masses point to conference bias as the basis for the wrong call. If all the zebras were just college officials, the suggestion of impropriety easily could be eliminated.

According to a list compiled by 24/7 Wall Street identifying the “The Drunkest (and Driest) Cities in America,” Wisconsin had seven of the top 10. The data for “drunkenness” was calculated by looking at the percentage of the population that binge drinks or has four to five drinks at a sitting or 15 or more drinks per week.

Being familiar with the statistics, I cracked up when I saw a women in the Baltimore airport wearing a t-shirt that had a Pabst Blue Ribbon logo, but read: “Drink Wisconsinbly.”

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