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  • Bill Chastain

TOYS AND GAMES: Pro Bowl, Valentine’s Day, Churchill and Mirren

The Pro Bowl is the worst all-star game in professional sports. Always has been, always will be. Nobody disputes this fact. Comically, the bar for this contest has always been set so low that a skilled limbo dancer would never attempt a pass at slithering underneath.

Alas, the game has now hit rock bottom. Heading into this weekend’s game, “All-Stars” are fleeing Hawaii like it’s the fall of Saigon. At the rate players are dropping out, the NFL will need to hire replacement players to fill the rosters.

Remember the one real truth about this event: Every player wants to be named to the Pro Bowl, but none of them want to play in the game.

I’ve been looking for the perfect place to take Princess for Valentine’s Day and all I can say is Patti will be sitting on a gold mine come February 14. Yours truly plans to get reservations for the Waffle House candlelight dinner. Imagine the sliver of candlelight reflecting off a waffle soaked in maple syrup. Heart be still.

Yes, my wife has an awesome husband.

I love this Winston Churchill quote: “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”

Countering Churchill’s wisdom is Helen Mirren, who noted: “At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words “fuck off” much more frequently.”

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