• Bill Chastain

TOYS AND GAMES: These Three Jobs Not For Me

Life experiences have taught me that the fastest way to doing something you said you would never do is to say that you will never do it.

For example, as a youngster, I said I would never wear bell-bottomed pants. Next thing you know, I bell-bottoms were the rage and that’s all I wore. Also, as a youngster, “I’ll never like girls.” Lost that one, too.

So reluctantly I share with you the three jobs I would never take, though I’ll categorize these as three jobs I would rather not have. The last thing I want to do is jinx myself into having to work one at one of these professions. Here goes:

– Tinkle tester in a Major League clubhouse. These guys actually watch the players while they fill up the beakers with their specimens.

Window washer 2 View of window washer from my hotel window in Chicago. I’m on the 44th floor.

– Window washer for high-rise buildings. The fear factor for this one is way too great. While looking out at the downtown Chicago area from my hotel room on Monday, I actually experienced a window washer passing by in front of my window. I could think only of Wile E. Coyote and a plume of dust at the bottom of a canyon.

– Armpit sniffer. According to an article on the Mirror website, such a job exists. The purpose of the sniffer’s duties is to see if certain deodorant’s are getting the job done. Take heart, though, the woman who works as the sniffer allowed the following about her position: “It was strange at first, but in a week it was fine.”

If you notice a dab of deodorant on the tip of my nose, you’ll know I actually did jinx myself.


©2020 by Bill Chastain. Photo credits: Jill Doty Photography