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  • Bill Chastain

TOYS AND GAMES: Too Old to Say Dude…

A higher authority has strongly suggested I refrain from using “dude” — “You’re 59” is the gist of the higher authority’s case.

So I’ve been thinking. Did Linda McCartney nip Paul’s usage of “Hey Dude” in the bud? If so, the most famous of The Beatles did a nice job on the resulting audible.

Wonder if it’s going to take electric shock treatment to break me of my habit, dude. Damn! There I go again. How many volts would that have cost me?

Disarmed from passing a “dude” in conversations, I’m left to ponder in what verbal direction I should travel to fill the void.

Babe Ruth immediately came to mind.

The Bambino never used “dude” rather he went with “chief” and “stinky” when he forgot somebody’s name. Of course he had 714 Major League home runs. That’s street cred. Not sure what somebody would say to me if I went with “stinky” over “dude.”

Next, I turn to another baseball icon, Frank Howard, for wisdom in my situation. “Hondo” was said to be too big to be a man and too small to be a horse. Back in the day, when I had cause to be around him a lot, he tended to call everybody “Amigo” as in “How’s it going my little amigo?”

“Hey you” and “fella” also come to mind as possibilities. And “captain” has never been bad.

“Jack” once worked for the late, great Orbie Hunt, as in, “What’s happening, Jack?” Of course, Orbie was cool before being cool was cool. And there’s always “dawg” and “bro” in a pinch.

You know, when you get right down to it, “dude” is not so bad.

bchastain19@gmail.com

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©2020 by Bill Chastain. Photo credits: Jill Doty Photography