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  • Bill Chastain

Why We Love the Gentleman's Game

Golf is fun. There's the social aspect. And the competitive piece. Just don't join your buddies looking to boost your self esteem. You can’t be thin-skinned. Take the following exchange from my Tampa foursome.


Charlie wasn’t feeling well, I believe he had a sinus infection, so on No. 5, Frank observed with great feeling: “Charlie, you look like shit.”


Kind of like calling the guy with acne "Pizza Face."


Charlie remained silent. Frank continued: “If anything happens, Bill will give you mouth to mouth. I’ll dial 911.”


I'm forever trying to learn a second language. Spanish has been my pursuit the past five years, but I haven't been consistent, so I'm not making a lot of progress. I've got Rosetta Stone. And I have audio lessons I can play in the car on listen to while I'm walking. Still, if somebody asked me if I understood Spanish, my answer would be "no entiendo"--do not understand.


Decades ago, I passed two years of Spanish at Plant High. That experience taught me to count to 10. Pack that up and head to Madrid. See how that works out. Being accountable, I acknowledge that I never really tried in high school Spanish. And by the time I did try, I'd fallen too far behind to catch up. Thus, the class became a form of entertainment.


My teacher was big on "fiestas." We were encouraged to bring food to such cultural exchanges, to be enjoyed by the entire class. A Christmas party prompted a friend to bake a batch of brownies. When the teacher dug in, he leaned in toward me. "I only used a nickel bag."


Feliz Navidad to all.


My point is to express the opinion that Spanish, and other languages, would have been better taught had they hooked wanker students like myself by beginning the instruction with conversational Spanish. Instead, the class took the grammar route. Breaking down verbs and conjunctions before before speaking the language doesn't click. Just an opinion.


My attempts to learn Spanish will continue, sans the brownies.


Mined this one from the Internet:


A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”


The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, “Okay, now concentrate… what is two plus two?”


The player thought for a moment and then he answered, “4?”


“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.


At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, “Come on coach, give him another chance."


I invite you to hang out with me on my site at billchastain.com and read more of my blogs. You can also download FREE chapters from some of my fiction books: Peachtree Corvette Club, The Streak and Retrouvailles. Drop me a line at Asked and Answered. Let's talk about feel-good stories, fun facts, movies, food and cooking and of course two of my very favorite topics: sports and books - whatever is on your mind.


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©2020 by Bill Chastain. Photo credits: Jill Doty Photography